Why I’m Afraid of Flying

I prefer anticipated endings.

I like them because you can say “this is the last time that I will _________”. And then you pay more attention to each passing second, to each grain of sand that slips through your hand. And you treasure it more. The pain of something ending becomes bittersweet rather than a tormented loss.

When things are cut off abruptly, you look back and you think “that was the last time that I ______ and I didn’t even know it”. If only I had known! How much more would I have treasured that moment! How much more carefully would I have paid attention! Now I have lost even my memories, and what is life if not a mental scrapbook of our collected memories?